I wanted to share a recent experience of a parenting win that I witnessed.
Last weekend, I was in LA participating in a conference designed to learn about how to support parents online which was enriching and fun, and on my way home I was at the airport and happened to come upon a mom and her 2 kids having a challenging moment.
I stopped and watched her interaction with them, endlessly interested in how parents handle conflict with their kids. Her son wanted a snack from a place they had already passed and mom was trying to herd her 2 tired boys to their gate. She tried explaining why they were not going back to get the snack he wanted and said "C'mon we have to get to our gate" as she attempted to walk ahead of him. He stopped dead in his tracks, he was clearly upset and they were now at a standstill right in front of the ladies washroom. She tried a couple of times to get him to follow her, but he just stood there looking disgruntled. She saw he was angry, but instead of demanding that he follow her, she paused, walked back over to him, knelt down in front of him, looked in his eyes, took his hands in hers and expressed to him "I can see you are frustrated". At that moment he softened, tears formed, his mouth took that shape that kids have right before they cry, but are trying to hold it in, and he reached out and hugged her.
I was so touched by how she responded to her son in that moment and how the whole interaction they were having went from frustration to openness and vulnerability. Her willingness to meet him just where he was at, offer empathy, and make connection the priority was so heartening to me. So much so that later on I caught up with her at the gate and expressed this to her and was able to really acknowledge her for choosing to parent this way.
Making connection the priority is such an important principle to remember when parenting. It's really what matters most when there is conflict and is the easiest thing to forget in the face of getting triggered ourselves in those heated moments.
How do we do that when we are triggered ourselves is something parents ask me a lot. That is something I will be talking about more in my parenting programs designed to support those challenging moments when we are about to lose our sh%$#t!
Until then, take good care of yourself!
